When I was first introduced to the concept that we ‘create our own reality’, everything in me resisted such an outrageous notion. Who would create a life of struggle, disappointment, loss, betrayal or suffering I reasoned? Certainly no-one in their right mind – which is precisely the point!
Like most people I grew up believing that events and circumstances were what happened to me and were generally outside my control.
To be told it was my inner conversations – the stories I told myself – that shaped my personal reality (and the way I experience our collective reality) was both preposterous and confronting.
And then incredibly liberating!
It handed control – and responsibility – back to me. If I was powerful enough to create a reality I didn’t want, I could also create one I wanted and enjoyed.
“If we did all the things we were capable of
we would simply astound ourselves.”
– Thomas Edison-
I began to practice questioning my thoughts, and re-framing and re-directing my internal dialogue from judgement and self-criticism to compassion and acceptance. This flowed into my conversations with those around me. I also started listening to connect with others, knowing they too, may be experiencing similar unhelpful self-talk.
To my surprise I began to feel less stressed and more focused. And my personal and professional relationships grew more authentic and satisfying.
Astonishingly, even my body began to heal!
For too long many of us have remained ignorant of the incredible power of our thoughts and conversations to mentally, emotionally and physically impact us. Now we know that language is a transcription gene, activating either the chemistry of connection or stress within ourselves and others.
We can use our words and conversations to diminish or support each other, create trust or distrust, invite and inspire connection and collaboration or deflate, discourage and alienate.
As Judith E. Glaser, author of Conversational Intelligence says, ‘everything happens through conversations’. Through them we inspire ourselves and others to act, break down barriers, forge bridges, build relationships, transact business, and create community.
Knowing how to reframe and redirect conversations is an essential life-long skill that allows us to aspire together and achieve more than we ever dreamed possible.
Your conversations can change your world!